Understand What You Can Control & What’s Out Of Your Control

Understanding what you can control is an important aspect of managing your life effectively, reducing stress, and making informed decisions. It involves recognizing that there are certain factors and aspects of your life that you have the power to influence or change, while there are others that are beyond your control. Here are some key principles to help you understand what you can control:

Internal vs. External Factors:

You can control internal factors, such as your thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and actions. External factors, on the other hand, are often beyond your control and include things like the weather, other people’s behavior, and global events.

Focus on Your Response:

While you can’t always control external circumstances, you can control how you respond to them. Your reactions, choices, and behaviors are within your control. This is often referred to as having control over your response rather than the situation itself.

Identify What You Can Change:

Assess your current situation and determine which aspects you can change or influence. For example, if you’re unhappy with your job, you can control actions like updating your resume, networking, and applying for new positions.

Accept What You Can’t Change:

Recognize that there are aspects of life you cannot control, such as the past, the actions of others, or certain natural events. Accepting this reality can help you reduce stress and frustration.

Set Realistic Goals:

When setting goals, focus on those that are within your control. For instance, instead of setting a goal to make someone like you (which is beyond your control), set a goal to improve your communication skills (which you can control).

Develop Resilience:

Building emotional resilience can help you better cope with situations that are beyond your control. This involves developing skills like problem-solving, adaptability, and emotional regulation.

Prioritize and Delegate:

In situations where you have limited control or resources, prioritize tasks and delegate responsibilities when possible. This can help you manage your workload more effectively.

Seek Support:

Sometimes, you can’t control a situation on your own. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when facing challenges that feel overwhelming.

Mindfulness and Acceptance:

Practices like mindfulness meditation and acceptance can help you come to terms with situations you cannot control. These practices teach you to be present in the moment and accept things as they are.

Learn from Experience:

Reflect on past experiences to understand what you could and couldn’t control. This can help you make better decisions in the future and develop a more realistic sense of your control over various aspects of life.

Remember that understanding what you can control is not about trying to control everything but rather about making conscious choices and taking responsible actions in the areas where you do have influence. It’s also about letting go of the need to control things that are outside of your control, which can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Journal Starter To Understand What You Can Control

“Reflect on your current thoughts of worry or fear. What aspects of your worries/fears involve things you have zero control over? List those things here.”

“List 5 things you do have control over in this moment. How can you direct more of your focus and energy towards the items on the CAN DO LIST?”